I remember the day I heard about his sudden passing, and how much distress I was plunged into upon learning that his funeral was to be in 8 days hence in New Zealand. I knew I had to fly there and be physically present to mourn him.
It was an emotionally wrenching experience, but I was surrounded by his family and colleagues who had worked with him over the years, and drank deeply from his seemingly never-ending curiosity and wisdom. Looking back now, I am so glad I made the decision to fly half way across the world to bid farewell to someone who was instrumental in shaping my worldview and teaching me of the true poetry of the human soul in all its guises.
It turned out to be a very healing experience, to meet his family, to celebrate his death in a traditional Maori fashion, and to connect with the very land that had shaped his outlook and his craft. I thought myself lucky when I first met him, and I count myself blessed to have studied intimately with him over the many, many years that our paths would interleave.
This is what I wrote and read out for him at his memorial service. It was the hardest challenge to capture my admiration and love for this man, and I trembled at the thought of sobbing while I read it out, but I didn't: whilst my eyes clouded with tears, my voice kept firm and my words moved many at the service.
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I first met David Grove in London when I was 22, shortly after I had qualified in hypnotherapy. After the first morning session was over, I remember thinking that I was in the presence of a very special, very brilliant healer. Many years later, our paths had criss-crossed several times over the years, the joy of seeing each other each time increased in inverse proportion to the quality of the bad jokes we shared.
But now I realize that my initial impression of David was wrong.
I had been in the presence not just of a very special, brilliant healer, but also of a maverick amongst mavericks, an eccentric amongst eccentrics, a genius amongst geniis.
So today on this day, the 21st day of January 2008, I find myself attending the funeral of someone very important to me, someone who opened my eyes to the reality of magic, and the infinite pathways to power of the human soul - someone whose very life was a testimony to a life lived accordingly to spirit; someone who truly was a modern day alchemist, able to turn dark into light; grief into joy; confusion into clarity, and to allow silence to find its voice and speak its truth.
David, my friend, through you your Maori ancestors spoke, and shared their wisdom, compassion and insight into the difficulties of living on this material plane.
It is only fitting, therefore, that you leave this plane to join them in a manner that reflects the sacredness of your worldly contribution in dispelling fear, awakening joy, and encouraging compassion, humility, elegance and laughter everywhere you went.
David left an enormously rich legacy. He left no children but his ideas and myriad inspirations, and it befalls upon those who studied and learned from him to act as guardians to those very precious gems to watch over their growth until they illuminate the whole world with their radiant beauty.
So David, I thank you for your many gifts so generously shared. Thank you too for sharing this last great teaching with us, teaching us about community and connection.
May your final journey be sweet, straight and joyful.
I finally leave you with some words from Antonio Machado, a poet from my Spanish tradition.
Caminante, no hay camino: se hace camino al adelantar.
This translates as:
Traveller, there is no path but that which we forge upon forging ahead.
Vaya con Dios, mi amigo. Vaya con Dios, mi hermano. – Go with God, my friend, Go with God, my brother.
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The intensity of the Maori Death ceremonies wrenched every last tear out of me. It was as David would have wanted it: a clean grief, a good grief. We said our goodbyes, lowered you to earth, and I haven't cried for you since.
But it can't be denied: it is a year today since you left, and I find I still miss our banter, I miss the inspiration of your eternal curiosity, your genius with language and your amazing ability to heal even the sickest spirit with the lightest of touches. If I can just pass even a fraction of this on, and likewise transform light into dark, salve the deepest pain, then I will feel that the gift of your work lives on, and is still able to touch those who most need it.
My deepest thanks.
